Chapter Two: He Believed

Broken inside is the new way to be whole. You can always pretend that you aren't missing pieces of the puzzle that is you, but someone will notice. It isn't that easy to hide that much pain. It isn't easy to hide that much guilt.

After I heard the dial tone I closed my phone slowly. I went over every word we said, and I realized that I played the bastard father card. The one that would hurt him the most. If I had even taken a second glance at the cards in my hand, the phone call could have gone so differently.

Why do I always end up hurting him? Oh, right. It's because he wants to leave his daughter and come to me. I couldn't have that on my conscience. I lied to him for her. I wanted the little girl with daddy's eyes to be able to have him in her life. That plan got fucked didn't it?

I made my way through the day as normally as possible. I went to visit my sister, and whoever the hell she was staying with. I got groceries for my mother. But the entire time I couldn't really feel anything but dread. Like right before your crash your car. You know it's coming, and you're just waiting for the final impact.

Honestly the only thing I remember clearly from that day is what happened that night. I had talked to Edward that morning and everything is blurry until about 10 O'clock that night when my best friend in the entire world called me panicked.

I heard his voice but I couldn't comprehend the words at first.

"Bella? Bella!?" he yelled "Are you there?"

I hesitated and breathed out my 'yes'

"Have you talked to Edward today, Bells? I haven't seen him, all day. He didn't come home, and they said he didn't show up for work. Bella? Are you even listening?" Emmet kept going. His panic was growing as he spoke and my silence stretched on.

"We talked this morning." I whispered as a single sob broke through. "I… I told…I"

"It's okay, It'll be fine." I didn't hear his words. I knew Edward. He had a tendency to overreact to any situation. He always tried to overcorrect his mistakes. I had a pretty damn good idea of what he was doing right now.

"Em." I whispered. The tears that were falling down my face were silent ones. I was glad for that, but silence wasn't going to be my reaction for very long.

"Bella, Isabella, you have to tell me where he would go." Emmet had come to the same conclusion that I had. He has to get there!

"The house. He would go to our house. The one that his father bought for us." I said, with my voice gaining back some strength.

"I'm on my way there now Bella. It's all going to be okay. I'll call you when I get there." And then he hung up.

My back slid down the wall as the silent tears continued. I was not a religious person, but I believed in what Edward did. He believed that a person's afterlife is not a trip to the pearly gates, or the fiery pits of hell. He believed that all people, when they died, went to a place that would have been their life's biggest and most fantastic dream. It would be every person's personal Eden. So when you died, you would be where you wanted. There would be no time, nothing would matter. In that place you wait in a timeless state of awareness for the person you love to arrive if you left them first.

I don't know how long it was before my phone rang again to an even more frantic Emmet. "Bella, the doors and windows are locked, there aren't any lights on, but his bike is in the garage. I can't get in, is there a key? I'm not even sure he's here though."

"The key is at my dad's house. It's on top the window sill outside of my old room." I said and when he hung up again I thought about telling him to just break the window. But I didn't.

It was 15 minutes later when he called again. "I'm in, the lights are all off, but I think he might be upstairs." As soon as he said it I knew where he was. The master bed room.

"Master bedroom Em. That's where he is. Hurry"

I heard him run up the stairs and down the hallway to the last door on the left. I heard as he pushed open the door slowly. And then I heard the breathe he had been holding come out in the word 'No.'

I heard fumbling with the phone and then suddenly I was hearing everything. Emmet's hard frantic breathing, and someone's, shallow, almost gasping breaths. I heard it all because I was on speaker phone.

"Bella. Bella tell me what to do, his wrists. There is so much blood." I heard his sobbing and panic.

"Put pressure on the cuts to stop the bleeding Em." I said in an ice cold tone. I no longer had any feelings. I was a shell of a person listen to the man I love die.

"Okay, what now? I already used his cell to call 911." I heard him struggling.

Then I heard something that I didn't expect. I heard my angel talk to me. "I knew you lied to me, you do love me." His voice was breathy and hard to understand. It broke my heart, because it was the truth. "I want to hear you say it, Bee. Say it."