Chapter One: Eden

There was a part of me that when I hung up the phone I knew that he wasn't going to give up. Part of me knew that he saw threw my lies. To this day I can tell you that whatever I told him on the phone, which ever choice I made, I would still be sitting here. I would still be telling you my story. I don't think I would be much happier, but I would feel like I was whole. Like part of my body wasn't torn away and taken somewhere else. Hidden in an Eden that you can only glimpse, and never really see.

This would most likely be easier for you if I told you the story from the beginning. Well for me the beginning of this one is relative. Would it start when I first met my personal Greek God; or would it be when we started dating? Let’s start at the end instead. When I finally lost him, we will start with the phone call.

I was sitting on my bed pondering a piece of paper that was meant for me to draw a picture on. I kept staring, I couldn't tell what was wrong, but I could feel that something wasn't right. I was expecting a call from Edward. It was Tuesday, he always calls. I hadn't seen him since the previous October. Edward and I had dated once, and we broke up when I moved back to Renee's. It had been just over a year since then. I felt the tear break over the brim of my eye, but it was only one. It ran down the contours of my face and landed on my blank paper.

I whipped my face quickly, because crying over the accomplishment I was most proud of was useless. I moved back here to get clean, and I had been, at least from most of it.

Since I had moved, Edward had gotten married quickly in Vegas, so that his child wouldn't be born of sin. At least that was her parents take on the story.

He had a baby girl. She was beautiful. She has his eyes. So now, when I look at her, it breaks my heart that she will never see her daddy's eyes. Not for real anyway.

My cell finally rang. I answered quickly "Hello?"

His voice hadn't changed at all when he answered "Hey, how are you doing today? Anything exciting going on in The Life and Times of Bella Swan?"

After that question and some witty answer I can't remember we spoke for about an hour before he asked the question that I had known was coming for days. Weeks even.

"Bell, this isn't an all or nothing situation. I can be with you, and be there for my daughter too." He all but pleaded

"Edward, you know what I think about this. I don't want her to grow up without a father like you did. Do you want that for her? Do you want her to feel about you how you feel about your father?" I quipped

"Shut up Bee! You know I would just leave her and reappear like Houdini." He didn't send the spit in his voice at me, and I knew that. He hated his father. His father left him when he was 8. He didn't come back until he was 15. Mikkiey had let his Aunt and Uncle take care of his younger brother, since his mother wasn't much of a Mom.

"No, but Tanya would make it seem that way to her. Do you really think that she would let you come and be with me without consequence? If you do, you don't know your wife." I asked. I felt the tears and heart ache for what I was about to do. I held it back, but just barely.

"Bee, I need you. We are supposed to be together. You know it. In the beginning, the phone calls were enough, but now they aren't. Bee I still love you." The tears that welled up now were fear. What if I can't do it? What if I can't hurt him to save a little girl who never asked to come to this world from being hurt? I have loved the little girl because she is a part of him, no matter who else she is part of.

"Well, I don't think I can trust you enough to love you again." Please call my lies. "I don't love you like I used to Edward." It hurts, I do love you. I always will. I am sorry baby. "I don't want you to be with me. I want you to be with your family."

"You are my family… No matter what happens Bee, we will be together in the end. I promise. I do still love you. It's all for you." And he hung up the phone